-
Women should not have children after 35. Really ... 35 children are enough.
-
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.
-
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
-
"No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning."
-
I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18"
-
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
-
How come we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?
-
The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
-
Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
-
I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
-
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
-
Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea ..."
-
Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.
-
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
-
I see your IQ test results were negative.
-
Regular naps prevent old age ... especially if you take them while driving.
-
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
TODAY's Thought: Daily Devotional 
