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Even More One Liners


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  • I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.

  • I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

  • Lord, if I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.

  • My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.

  • I cleaned my house yesterday. Sure wish you could have seen it.

  • This isn't clutter; these are my antiques!

  • Discover wildlife! Have kids!

  • Our policy is to always blame the computer.

  • Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

  • Take my advice. I'm not using it!

  • Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.

  • I love to give homemade gifts... umm, which one of the kids would you like?

  • By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!

  • This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.

  • Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.

  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


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