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The Rules of Chocolate


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    • If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

    • Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

    • The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

    • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

    • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

    • If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

    • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

    • If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

    • Money talks. Chocolate sings.

    • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

    • Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.

    • If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top hose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

    • Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.


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