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Teachers and Kids

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Heard in Elementary School

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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America  

MARIA: Here it is.  

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?  

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication  on the floor?  

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"  

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"  

TEACHER: No, that's wrong  

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how  I spell it.

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?  

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.  

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have  today that we didn't have ten years ago.  

WINNIE: Me! 

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?  

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."  

MILLIE: I is...  

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."  

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his  father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

 LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand?

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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say  prayers before eating?  

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is  exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?  

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?  

HAROLD: A teacher


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