One day I thought about the verse, “Keep yourselves in God’s love,” (Jude 21) and I wondered, “How do I keep myself in God’s love?”
After all, God’s love is eternal, unchanging and constant. Nothing can remove us from the love of God. What then does this directive actually mean?
God directed my thoughts to my relationship with my husband Marvin. He loves me more than anyone on earth. I feel secure, safe and protected. There are times however, when we have a misunderstanding and my feeling of security quickly changes to insecurity. When this happens, I put up a wall. I withdraw from his love rather than keeping myself in his love. The wall I put up shuts out his love.
In the same way, I will at times try to take myself out of God’s love. I know He orchestrates circumstances in my life to teach me divine truths. Sometimes these situations are very painful and I begin to doubt the truth of the Bible regarding God’s love. I put up a wall. His love for me hasn’t changed, but I don’t experience His love.
For example, when our five-month-old grandson, Spencer, died suddenly, the enemy put thoughts in my mind like,
“How could a loving God take away this beautiful grandson from you?”
I began to doubt God’s love. In my mind the attributes of God’s power and sovereignty loomed large and His love seemed small - like the smallest letters on an eyesight-testing chart.
Shortly after Spenser’s death, God spoke to my mind as I was driving along the freeway. He said,
“Katherine, do you believe the Bible?”
I answered, “Yes, Lord, You know I do.”
“Do you believe that I am love?”
In my mind I could clearly see the verse in 1 John 4:16, “God is love.”
That day I made a choice - again. I would believe the Bible from cover to cover. There would be times when I wouldn’t understand God’s ways, but that did not meant the Bible wasn’t true. These times only revealed my limited understanding of God’s ways.
My wall toward God came down and I once again experienced the warmth of His love.
God, thank You that what You say is true. Thank You that the Bible is truer than our feelings. Amen.
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